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8 Phone Gaffes From A Home Office
From an award-winning writer and columnist.

Working from a home office isn't all sweat pants, classic rock music in the background and ready access to the leftover guacamole. There are pitfalls aplenty — starting with the telephone.

While the phone is your principal link to that netherworld that exists beyond the front door, it can also be a conduit for verbal missteps — ill-advised remarks, habits and comments that can harm a business, scar your reputation or, at the very least, support the still-prevalent stereotype that a home office and serious work are mutually exclusive.

We've all, at one time or another, probably let slip one of these eight verbal burps (culled from my own and other home-office colleagues' experiences). But let's not repeat ourselves.

"Leslie, the toilet paper is on the top shelf." I once had an "editor" (quotes definitely justified) who, when working from her home office, continually broke away from phone conversations to blather with her family. Over the mercifully brief time we worked together, I learned that this family was perpetually out of peanut butter, that the cell phone was never, ever where she had left it and — as illustrated by this paragraph's heading — that the toilet tissue had been moved so that the dog would stop tearing it apart. However wonderful it is that a home office gives us proximity to the ongoing joys of family life, keep things on a business track when talking on the phone. Anything less screams a lack of professionalism. And stockpile the sandwich spreads if you have to.
"Sorry, had to shoo my kids from my office." Or words to that effect that further narrow the family-focused banter. First off, not every person at the other end of the phone will appreciate — or take the faintest interest in — the fact that your kids are playing video games at your feet. Even worse, some may take the presence of children as a red flag that a business that purports to be serious may be something less. Unless you know for sure that someone enjoys or doesn't mind youngsters in the workplace — and the reaction to your electronics howling in the background can be taken as one reliable barometer — keep the children out of your conversations.
"I don't see how you work in a 'regular' office." This rather impolitic comment is addressed to someone who, for whatever reason, doesn't know the entertainment value of watching your cat in the litter box as you prepare a PowerPoint presentation. But it's alienating on several levels — you may be talking with someone who considers corporate life an invaluable refuge from everything from howling babies to Oprah. Those kinds of remarks may also exasperate a cubicle-trapped employee yearning for work-at-home freedom. Just bear in mind that there are all sorts of offices, and leave things as superficial as that.
"I'd like to, but I just don't have room for . . ." Finish this phrase with a word of your own choosing — fax machine, bigger computer, storage, what have you. But what you should really make room for is a shot of discretion. Granted, every home office likely will have some sort of shortcoming, but try not to spread the news around too liberally. Again, that can hint at a business that may suffer from an unnerving lack of service or capability. Moreover, as technology advances, excuses for not maintaining a high-functioning home office are becoming as hollow as Iraqi warheads. Got problems? Keep 'em to yourself and work to resolve them.
"Well, I gotta go make dinner." I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd want to suddenly hear from my doctor reviewing the results of a CAT scan that he hears the food processor calling him. Granted, we can make allowances for people whom we know well, but it's generally sensible not to announce a break in a business conversation to attend to some household chore. Use your own judgment here. It may be fine to tell a buddy that you're late picking your children up from the movies, but a prospective client will certainly feel that she's getting the brush off.
"Can you hear me now?" This is often said in concert with the vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers or excessively loud episodes of "Star Search" on the tube. Turn the television off — not the client or boss at the other end of the line.
"I have to get the door." Another example that's situation specific. It shouldn't be a problem to let the FedEx guy in when you're chatting with a customer with whom you're comfortable, but dropping the phone to answer the door may only drop you from a client's list of prospects. Set it up so the delivery guy can just leave packages. If need be, schedule phone calls when deliveries are less likely to occur.
"My home office is so convenient, my home office is so cozy, my home office is . . ." One final tip: If you have any concerns whatsoever about how someone may react to your working from home, keep it out of the conversation as much as possible. Naturally, don't say you work in the Chrysler building if you have a home office in Kamchatka. But make your office a decidedly secondary element of the conversation. That way, people will judge you on your professional wherewithal, not where you and your wherewithal happen to pursue a profession.

By award-winning writer and columnist Jeff Wuorio. Jeff is the author of "The CNBC Guide to Money and Markets." For more information, check out his website: http://www.jeffwuorio.com. This article appeared on MSN.com.