Stay-At-Home Success Story
With
six (yes, six!) children and a successful blend of work
& family, Diana Green considers herself a "professional
mom."A
graduate of NCSU with a degree in Sociology and a minor
in Social Work, Diana Green has come full circle -- from
putting her career on the back burner to raise a family
to now speaking about her life experiences. "I am a
Professional Mom ... and proud of it!" she says.
Currently employed in the home, Diana says that in the
25 years that she has been a mom, she's found herself
employed in several places. "I have always considered my
home to be my God-given first priority job and making a
family my God-given responsibility." Along the way, she
has had two home businesses (as a beauty consultant for
cosmetics & color consultation as well as working with
her husband as he began a career as a financial
planner). Now that her children are older, she travels
and speaks with Family Life Ministries at marriage and
parenting seminars around the country as well as a
part-time gig mentoring to a local MOPS group.
"I love being able to
wake every day and have a fresh start! I get to make my
own schedule, set my own priorities, determine my own
objectives. I am accountable to the Lord and my husband
and children for doing my best for them and serving them
wisely and well. I enjoy the creativity and diversity my
job at home incorporates. I love the flexibility. I am
able to become knowledgeable in many areas such as meal
planning & preparation, nutrition, shopping, inventory
control, time management, child development, child
rearing, counseling, decorating, transportation
services, budgeting & financial planning, organization,
management, stress reduction, social direction,
entertainment & recreation, family doctor, health care
engineer, business management and project supervision. I
get to develop a project, plan for its accomplishment,
oversee it, research it and evaluate it. This could be a
meal, or an addition to the home. It might be a
vegetable garden, or building a video library for the
children."
The
most surprising part of Diana's parenting experience was
how exhausting it is and that there is never a reprieve
from the responsibility. "I did not enjoy always being
the one who put her needs second when a child was sick
or money was tight, and I had to put off my wants for
the needs of the kids and my husband. I wouldn't change
it, though. The sleepless nights are now a memory; I
have caught up on my rest. And the tough times made me
grow up and become an adult, which is what kids need
from their Mommies."
The moms & dads Diana has
met over the years all seem to have the notion that they
need to parent perfectly. "They carry a lot of
significance on every little thing," she says. "Each
event, each day, seems so important at the moment. But
it is not important to be perfect. It is more important
to be consistent." It can be difficult to redefine your
pace and slow down to meet the pace your child sets for
you. "Maybe having dinner on the table by 6 isnt so
important today. Perhaps it is okay to eat later and
take the teachable moment that is available with a
curious toddler," Diana assures. "We adults tend to live
by clocks and schedules that stress us out and add
incomprehensible stress to our little ones who are
mostly governed by internal 'clocks' like hunger,
sleepiness and curiosity."
"We are not guaranteed
any tomorrows and kids force us to live in the moment!
They are not always planning and anticipating ... they
live with their senses and are fully alive as they
observe the details of life. We are rushing through to
get to the grocery store and the child is noticing the
fascinating texture of a pansy petal ... or the zesty
tang of a first taste of strawberry jam ... I think God
has given us children to help us slow down! We instead
spend our lives training them to speed up," Diana
cautions.
"It is my experience that
the best thing a parent can do to help their kids thrive
is love them and discipline them. Show them boundaries
and that respect for authority is good. Teach them to
enjoy learning and to think for themselves. So what if
they dont color inside the lines! Let a child learn
from consequences that it is best to listen to his
parents. Be quick and firm with loving discipline and do
not lose heart or give up under the stress of endless
testing."
"Do not try to be your
childs friend. Your child needs you to be his parent.
He will have many friends in life, but only one Mommy.
Step up to the plate. When your child is a toddler and
is testing you to see if you mean it, even if you feel
like the meanest mom in the world, do not give up. See
it through. Patiently insist on appropriate behavior."
"Kids thrive on positive
environments. They do best when encouraged to be
themselves. Study your child and help him to earn
self-esteem by being who he is best gifted to be."
Diana's best advice to
stay-at-home parents out there is not to give up! "Your
job is one that has been significant across time and
cultural boundaries. Ever since God has given us
children, He has expected them to be loved and trained
by their parents," Diana comforts. Some days will seem
long when you are home with only a 2-year-old for
company ... make the effort to find friends and get some
support. Join a mothers morning out program or trade
babysitting with a friend so you can get some time for
yourself on a regular basis. "I needed two mornings a
week," Diana recalls, "and found a wonderful
church-based program that took my kids so I could have
some time to run errands, catch up on my sleep, have
lunch with a friend, or read a book. A total of 8 hours
a week was all it took to keep me sane."
"I found I needed to stay
in Gods Word regularly, too," she says. "Even if I
could not find time for extended study, just having
verses to rely upon or songs to sing helped me through
difficult days.
Submitted by Diana Green,
NC
Editor's Note:
There are various programs available nationwide to
satisfy the needs of you and your children. If you find
one that has worked particularly well, send us an email
and tell us about it ... we'd love to hear your story
too! |