Stay-At-Home Success Story
With six (yes, six!) children and a successful blend of work & family, Diana Green considers herself a "professional mom."

A graduate of NCSU with a degree in Sociology and a minor in Social Work, Diana Green has come full circle -- from putting her career on the back burner to raise a family to now speaking about her life experiences. "I am a Professional Mom ... and proud of it!" she says. Currently employed in the home, Diana says that in the 25 years that she has been a mom, she's found herself employed in several places. "I have always considered my home to be my God-given first priority job and making a family my God-given responsibility." Along the way, she has had two home businesses (as a beauty consultant for cosmetics & color consultation as well as working with her husband as he began a career as a financial planner). Now that her children are older, she travels and speaks with Family Life Ministries at marriage and parenting seminars around the country as well as a part-time gig mentoring to a local MOPS group.

"I love being able to wake every day and have a fresh start! I get to make my own schedule, set my own priorities, determine my own objectives. I am accountable to the Lord and my husband and children for doing my best for them and serving them wisely and well. I enjoy the creativity and diversity my job at home incorporates. I love the flexibility. I am able to become knowledgeable in many areas such as meal planning & preparation, nutrition, shopping, inventory control, time management, child development, child rearing, counseling, decorating, transportation services, budgeting & financial planning, organization, management, stress reduction, social direction, entertainment & recreation, family doctor, health care engineer, business management and project supervision. I get to develop a project, plan for its’ accomplishment, oversee it, research it and evaluate it. This could be a meal, or an addition to the home. It might be a vegetable garden, or building a video library for the children."

The most surprising part of Diana's parenting experience was how exhausting it is and that there is never a reprieve from the responsibility. "I did not enjoy always being the one who put her needs second when a child was sick or money was tight, and I had to put off my wants for the needs of the kids and my husband. I wouldn't change it, though. The sleepless nights are now a memory; I have caught up on my rest. And the tough times made me grow up and become an adult, which is what kids need from their Mommies."

The moms & dads Diana has met over the years all seem to have the notion that they need to parent perfectly. "They carry a lot of significance on every little thing," she says. "Each event, each day, seems so important at the moment. But it is not important to be perfect. It is more important to be consistent." It can be difficult to redefine your pace and slow down to meet the pace your child sets for you. "Maybe having dinner on the table by 6 isn’t so important today. Perhaps it is okay to eat later and take the teachable moment that is available with a curious toddler," Diana assures. "We adults tend to live by clocks and schedules that stress us out and add incomprehensible stress to our little ones who are mostly governed by internal 'clocks' like hunger, sleepiness and curiosity."

"We are not guaranteed any tomorrows and kids force us to live in the moment! They are not always planning and anticipating ... they live with their senses and are fully alive as they observe the details of life. We are rushing through to get to the grocery store and the child is noticing the fascinating texture of a pansy petal ... or the zesty tang of a first taste of strawberry jam ... I think God has given us children to help us slow down! We instead spend our lives training them to speed up," Diana cautions.

"It is my experience that the best thing a parent can do to help their kids thrive is love them and discipline them. Show them boundaries and that respect for authority is good. Teach them to enjoy learning and to think for themselves. So what if they don’t color inside the lines! Let a child learn from consequences that it is best to listen to his parents. Be quick and firm with loving discipline and do not lose heart or give up under the stress of endless testing."

"Do not try to be your child’s friend. Your child needs you to be his parent. He will have many friends in life, but only one Mommy. Step up to the plate. When your child is a toddler and is testing you to see if you mean it, even if you feel like the meanest mom in the world, do not give up. See it through. Patiently insist on appropriate behavior."

"Kids thrive on positive environments. They do best when encouraged to be themselves. Study your child and help him to earn self-esteem by being who he is best gifted to be."

Diana's best advice to stay-at-home parents out there is not to give up! "Your job is one that has been significant across time and cultural boundaries. Ever since God has given us children, He has expected them to be loved and trained by their parents," Diana comforts. Some days will seem long when you are home with only a 2-year-old for company ... make the effort to find friends and get some support. Join a mother’s morning out program or trade babysitting with a friend so you can get some time for yourself on a regular basis. "I needed two mornings a week," Diana recalls, "and found a wonderful church-based program that took my kids so I could have some time to run errands, catch up on my sleep, have lunch with a friend, or read a book. A total of 8 hours a week was all it took to keep me sane."

"I found I needed to stay in God’s Word regularly, too," she says. "Even if I could not find time for extended study, just having verses to rely upon or songs to sing helped me through difficult days.

Submitted by Diana Green, NC

Editor's Note:
There are various programs available nationwide to satisfy the needs of you and your children. If you find one that has worked particularly well, send us an email and tell us about it ... we'd love to hear your story too!

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