That's one you'll have to figure out on your
own. Whether it's your first-ever separation or
you leave your child with a caregiver daily when
you go to work, leaving your baby with a
babysitter, may be difficult. But sooner or
later, you're going to have to get over your
anxiety about leaving your child in someone
else's care, or you'll never leave the house
again.
You could spend every minute with your child,
but you'll be needing your own life, too -- so
it's wise to let her get accustomed to another
occasional caretaker. That doesn't mean you
should run out for a night on the town three
days after you bring your baby home from the
hospital. But starting early, with short periods
of time away (about 15 minutes to start, then
gradually working up to more), will help your
baby get used to your being gone for a little
while.
This makes it easier when separation anxiety
gets into full swing. If your baby recognizes
right from the get-go that when you go out in
the evenings you always come back, her distress
and your guilt will be hugely diminished.
How do I ease the separation? Try not to
let your child pick up on your feelings of
apprehension. If you feel anxious, she'll feel
anxious too. Treat brief separations casually --
don't get worked up or linger over saying
goodbye, for example -- and your baby will learn
you'll be back soon and won't worry. And if
she's happy, you're happy.
Remember, you not only deserve but need
to have a little time to yourself. And don't
count time spent at work as time spent alone. Of
course you'll miss your baby, and you may even
feel guilty about going. It's normal, but be
easy on yourself. If you can't stop feeling
guilty, try leaving your baby with someone she's
already familiar with -- this will help ease
separation anxiety for both of you.
