1- If you
love something, set it free. If it comes back,
it will always be yours. If it doesn't come
back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if
it just sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone,
takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize
that you had set it free ... you either married
it or gave birth to it.
2- Reason to smile: every 7 minutes of every
day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a
hamstring.
3- They keep telling us to get in touch with our
bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but
I heard from it the other day after I said,
"Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock
class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my
body said, "Listen fatty ... do it and die."
4- My mind not only wanders, it sometimes
leaves completely.
5- The best way to forget all your troubles is
to wear tight shoes.
6- The nice part about living in a small town:
when you don't know what you're doing, someone
else always does.
7- Just when I was getting used to yesterday,
along came today.
8- Amazing! You hang something in your closet
for a while and it
shrinks two sizes!
9- Sometimes I think I understand everything,
then I regain consciousness.
10- I read this article that said the typical
symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse
buying, and driving too fast. Are they
kidding?
That's my idea of a perfect day.
Submitted by Pattie Allmond. |
