Mother's Day vs. Father's Day

Which is a better holiday, Mother's Day or Father's Day? Let's compare the behavior of the typical mom and the typical dad on these two holidays. Well, it's typical in my home, anyway. We are Martha Stewart married to Ray Romano.

Cards.  I have purchased my husband's cards ten days in advance. I've gotten him cards from the children, the pets, and from me. I also bought cards for my father, step-father, my ex-husband, and some homeless guy everybody calls "daddy". Okay, not the homeless guy, but you get the picture. In addition, I spent 20 minutes analyzing the content of each card so that it expresses just the right sentiment. "Well, the baby is only 7 months old, so she really can't say she LOVES him."  My husband, on the other hand, didn't have as much foresight. The morning before Mother's Day, I suspected he had not yet gotten me a card. Rather than risk his embarrassment and my bitter disappointment, I gently reminded him. It was a good thing I did.  "Honey, can you think of anything else we need while you are at the drugstore today after work?"  "I'm going to the drugstore today after work?"  "Well, tomorrow is Mother's Day and I'll bet you $5 that you haven't gotten my card yet."  "Uhhhhh, no I can't think of anything else we need while I'm at the drugstore today after work."  My beloved found himself wandering the aisles of the 24 hour drugstore at 1:00 am Mother's Day morning looking for the "perfect card". Later he revealed to me that he was by no means the only man in the card aisle that night.

Gifts. As Father's day approached, I began to review gift possibilities. "I could make some baby hand prints out of clay. Or I could take her to one of those photo studios and get professional photos of her with some cute props. Yeah, and I could give it to him in a handmade frame with her little hand prints in paint all around it."  I decided that I would be more likely to capture the true essence of the baby on film, and chose to take the pictures myself.  I bought two rolls of black and white film and proceeded to have my own "photo shoot" complete with props, costume changes, and different backdrops. I also bought a cute frame so that daddy can have a cute picture of his baby for his desk at work. I scrapped the homemade frame idea after watching the baby eat cereal with her hands. Needless to say, my husband wasn't considering crafting me a homemade Mother's Day gift out of wood. A few weeks before Mother's Day I received a subscription offer from Martha Stewart Living magazine. Now, I love this magazine dearly, but it is too expensive for me to buy monthly. I find it

interesting, but not practical, to learn how to make my own Revolutionary Flag for the 4th of July. The subscription offer was a great deal, so I left it on my husband's desk with a note attached: "Mother's Day is coming!!"  When he saw it he asked, "Mother's Day? When is that? You want a gift?" I must admit, this was our first Mother's Day as parents together, so he gets to slide on this one. "Yes, dear. It is traditional to give the woman who

endured 9 months of pain and 14 hours of agony to bring forth your child into the world a small token of your appreciation." "Oh. You want this magazine?"

Presentation.  In all likelihood, I will let my husband sleep in on Father's Day. I will then prepare his favorite breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes, fruit, orange juice (freshly squeezed, of course), and fresh ground coffee. When he wakes up I will bring the kids to him and we will present him with the gift, and the cards. Knowing my husband, he will probably still spend the day doing yard work, but this day his wife will wait on him hand and foot. "Can I get you another beer, honey?" I am also planning to make him a delicious dinner, and let him control the TV all night long.  Mother's Day was actually rather cute. My husband, my

daughter, and the baby all went into the kitchen to make me breakfast. He taught my eight year old how to operate the coffee maker, and together they fried a couple of eggs for me and served it with toast. The baby was babbling instructions the whole time, while I sat with my cat on my lap in the easy chair providing consultation.  "Honey, where are the spoons?"

"In the drawer below the cabinet where we keep the coffee cups."

"Honey, where are the coffee cups?"  During the breakfast (which was quite good, actually) my family presented me with my cards, and the gift my daughter made at school. The card my husband got me was for "A woman who means so much to this family." "Well, it's true isn't it?" he said. Something tells me the pickings were quite slim at 1:00 am. At least it wasn't for "The woman who cleans our house".  After breakfast I said, "The dishwasher is empty so you can put the dishes right in it."  "Oh, right. The dishes." My family struggled to do the dishes without me for the first time since we've been together. I loved every minute of it. 

So the question remains. Which is better, Mother's Day or Father's Day?  For me, it's a toss-up. I love Father's Day because I get to use all my creative

Martha Stewart ideas to produce a wonderful experience for the man I love.  I love Mother's Day because I get to sit back and watch my family do my jobs because they love me enough to do them.  They say it's better to give than to receive. I think it's true.  Especially when you are giving hints about what you'd like to receive.

Traci Vujicich, coach@askthelifecoach.com.

Ask the Life Coach, http://www.askthelifecoach.com.

Traci Vujicich (pronounced Voo-i-chich) is the author of Motherhood, Apple Pie and Other Fattening Things:

http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?isbn=0-595-20723-5

She is also a Life Coach, and a wife and mother. She lives in Redondo Beach, California with her husband Dan, daughters Madison and Lea, and her cats Maggie and Sofia. Traci produces a weekly internet magazine, writes content for several websites, and is the webmaster of Ask the Life Coach.com and Lead the Field Coaching.com. Since 1993, Traci has been providing management consulting services to clients such as Johnson & Johnson, Sun Microsystems, Texaco, Nortel, Kodak, Bell South, Weyerhauser, Lockheed Martin, Union Pacific and Exxon. In addition, she conducts internet seminars on a variety of subjects.