Mr. Rogers' Parenting Present

I grew up watching "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." There I learned that I was special, that even goldfish die, and that make-believe can be real. But Fred Rogers' most important lesson for me took place fifteen years later.

During my summer break from college, I worked as an intern at Family Communications Inc., the production company for "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." One afternoon as I was copying scripts, Fred stopped to copy a poem for a friend. I offered to do it for him, and he stayed while I did. After a little small talk, I gathered the courage to ask him the question that I'd been wondering about for months.

"Fred, I've watched you talk to celebrities and little kids. No matter who it is, you make them feel special about themselves. How do you do it?"

Fred thought for a moment. "I guess I always try to be present in the moment for that person. I try to focus on them and to not think about other things when we're together. I think I owe that to them."

From that time, I made a quiet promise to myself to practice being present in the moment in my life, too. I learned that was more difficult than I first thought, but still I tried.

Being present in the moment became ever so much more important the first time I held our newborn son. Fred Rogers' words resonated in my mind. Here was the one person in the world who deserved--and demanded--no less.

It wasn't hard those first few days. I was so compelled with our new baby that I thought of nothing else. Nursing him or giving him a bath took every ounce of my concentration. I had no choice but to be present in the moment. As the days went by and I became better practiced at caring for him, I relaxed and just enjoyed being with him. His every move and expression fascinated me. We were living in our own wonderful world.

Gradually, the real world began to seep back into our lives. There were bills to pay, people to see, plans to make. Being present in the moment was no longer a given. It took some work. But I found as our son grows up he needs that from me even more than ever before.

In time, I decided to leave my corporate job and started a home-based business. Six years later we were blessed with a second son. As only a baby can, he reminds me all over again to be present in each moment.

Each day, there are lots of things to think about and do. Time is my most precious commodity. I cannot afford to waste one moment of the time I have with our sons. Being present in the moment is as much a necessity for me as for them.

So, sometimes the laundry waits an extra day or I don't get as much sleep as I would like. I doubt the Christmas cards will get sent this year. And I rejoice, because those are all extra moments that we can spend together as a family--reading a book, taking a walk, or just enjoying a snack together.

I find it's the tiny moments that mean the most to me. Like the day that each of our sons turned because he recognized his own name for the first time. Or every time one of them lets out a big belly laugh. I might have missed those moments if I allowed myself to be distracted by small unimportant things.

Is that what people mean when they say that they spend "quality time" with their children? I don't know. I just know what works for us.

And so thanks to Fred, I keep trying to be present in the moment. I owe that to them. I owe that to myself.

Dawn Lamuth-Higgins, MOPS Mom, Ligonier, PA.  Written in memory of Fred Rogers who passed away on February 27, 2003.  This article is also published on the MOPS International Web site at www.MOPS.org.