The house is filled with the smell of turkey roasting and a fresh, warm apple pie.  The family is cuddled in PJs watching the Macy’s Day Parade or lounging in the living room engrossed in football.  Parents everywhere are wondering how to teach thankfulness to young children who are constantly bombarded by marketing tactics, peer pressure, and dreams of the approaching holidays.

By introducing the words “thank you” and demonstrating gratitude, parents can do simple things to help their children learn this skill.

Give Thanks Each Day. Kids mimic their parents’ actions, so the basics of showing gratitude start with you.  Take every chance you can to say “thank you.”  It’s so easy to forget to say “thank you” to your little ones, but it is a quick and easy way to teach them.  So, if they have been particularly good while you were out shopping, say “Thank you for your help in the store.  You sitting still like that helped Mommy finish up faster.”  Or, ask your child for help around the house and be sure to say “thank you” when they finish up.

Point Out Others Who Give Thanks. Reading is a fun way to teach life lessons to young children.  Visit your local library to find a couple of the following books to share with your child:

The Thank You Book for Kids: Hundreds of Creative, Cool, and Clever Ways to Say Thank You!, by Ali Lauren Spizman
Ages 9 – 12.  Written by 14 year old.  Suggests ways to give thanks.

Peas and Thank You, by Mike Nawrocki
Baby - Preschool.  Board book about thanking others who help you.

The Berenstain Bears Say Please and Thank You (Family Time Storybooks), by Stan Berenstain, Jan Berenstain (Contributor)
Ages 4-8.  Bernstain Bears demonstrate using good manners.

The Thank You Book, by Carole Stuart, Arthur Robins (Illustrator)
Ages 4-8. Demonstrates when to say "thank you" through the use of childhood examples.

Precious Moments: Little Thank-You's (A Golden Books Naptime Tale), by Alan Benjamin, Samuel J. Butcher (Illustrator)
Baby – Preschool.  Teaches children to be thankful for little things in their lives.

Make Giving Thanks Fun for Children.  Showing gratitude for gifts and grand deeds doesn’t have to be a monumental effort, nor does it have to come in the form of a traditional thank you note.  Help your children have fun while learning their manners:

• Take pictures of them with their new toys and a big smile.  Let them write thanks on the back of the picture;

• Write “thank you” in big block letters on a piece of paper and let your child color, paint, etc. inside of them;
• Have older children seek out the letters to spell “thank you” from magazines and make a “ransom note” type thank you card; or
• If children were sent gifts from relatives or friends who live far from you, use the time spent writing thank you notes to also go through your most recent photo album.

Getting your children involved in saying thank you early on will help them to establish good habits in the future.

Seasonal Gestures of Thanks.  Each year, the holidays tend to inspire more pointed gestures of thanks than we tend to give throughout the year.  The following examples may help your family establish a new Thanksgiving tradition.

• Take time out to really thank your spouse, partner, or others who work with you to raise your children.  Each year at Thanksgiving, I write a thank you letter to my husband.  I let him know how much I appreciate the opportunity to be home with our children, all of the times he’s been there for me, and whatever smaller gestures I’ve previously forgotten about while nagging him to take out the trash or get milk on the way home.
• Help your children appreciate all of the things that they do have by looking into volunteer work in your area.  You may also give your children extra chores around the house; instead of getting allowance for the chores, they get a big thank you from you and earn a certain amount of canned goods that they can pick to donate to a local food bank.
• Use the season as a way to find out what your children appreciate.  Keep a log each year of the things that come up.  It will be fun to see how the lists grow and change as they get older.
• Celebrate the holiday of thanks!  Make “hand turkeys with your children” and hang them around the house.  Have them help with the Thanksgiving centerpiece.  It’s easy to turn a pineapple into a turkey by adding a construction paper head.

It is true: raising thankful children takes work.  But by teaching through example and making manners a priority, parents can help youngsters appreciate acts of kindness and the importance of the words “thank you.” 

Submitted by Mom.  Mom contributes regularly to Bundles of Joy and is the author of the "Ask Mom" column.  Ask questions of Mom via email at mom@bundlesofjoy.org.